Time a great healer? …

  

I’m going to be honest here as I feel I need to release, I hope you don’t mind…

I’ve had a pretty emotional last couple of weeks and to be trueful I’m finding it hard to motivate myself …

I’ve had to rehome my little lap dog due to having to have my other dog put to sleep for health reasons, my little lap dog would not cope without her because sadly I had to leave them on their own for hours whilst I went to work. The little dog has a lovely new home with dog play friend, lots of laps & human company. He is very happy. My home is quiet and I’m still grieving. I miss them especially my dog that was put to sleep she was the most beautiful dog, ever so faithful, full of love. It hurt to say goodbye. There are times when I forget they are gone, then it hits me hard.

I also had an ugly ending to a fake friendship that I considered real the other day, which still hasn’t settled within me. This was not the right time but then is there ever a right time for dealing with matters that affect the heart and mind? 

My braces cause my teeth to permanently ache, they give me a slight lisp and I’m craving for certain food but if I have I won’t manage to eat them. I can’t chew and am paranoid of keeping the braces clean. This I would normally cope with but it’s just not the right time to have added suffering.
I can’t seem to relax to read, watch a film, play my ukulele or anything that would normally bring me enjoyment.

I know of the sound advice I give to others and to myself but I can’t seem to apply it. 

I feel I have been zapped of my zeal for life.
I need to shed some tears but I have become numb with all the emotion that is whirling around my head & heart. They well up but they won’t tumble anymore. 

The words that I’m hanging onto is ‘Time is a great healer’.

Ukuele buddies …

  Hey … let me introduce you to my baby rubyred ukulele. 

I started playing (well attempting) a short while ago. I still get extremely sore fingers but have been told they will soon be like beef jerky :-/

I set a challenge to myself to learn to play, I have a flute that I  dabbled with quite some years back and after mastering ‘jingle bells’ I gave up. 

I am not musical in the slightest but have a yearning to play an instrument. The ukulele is very cute sounding and extremely good fun. 

I am learning the chords and trying to change them without too much looking. I can strum now, sometimes my peter pointer will catch on strings, sometimes I lose count but I am definitely improving. 

I do find it relaxes me and aids my mind when it goes haywire, which happens a lot.

I can’t wait till I can strum out some tunes and sing at the top of my voice, not sure my dogs will be looking forward to it quite as much but they can be backing singers!

So are there any other ukulele players on WordPress I would imagine if you like books, writing, poetry, photography there must be some who like to dabble too…

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover …

 

Shiver me timbers! 

Harvard university’s library holds a book binded of human skin. It was stumbled on by the strange looking leather cover…

In 2014, Harvard’s Houghton Library confirmed a book in its collection, Des destinées de l’ame by Arsène Houssaye was bound in human skin. It has been tested and 99% confident it is of human origin.

A rather morbid inscription on the inside of the book reads…

This book is bound in human skin parchment on which no ornament has been stamped to preserve its elegance. By looking carefully you easily distinguish the pores of the skin. A book about the human soul deserved to have a human covering: I had kept this piece of human skin taken from the back of a woman. It is interesting to see the different aspects that change this skin according to the method of preparation to which it is subjected. Compare for example with the small volume I have in my library, Sever. Pinaeus de Virginitatis notiswhich is also bound in human skin but tanned with sumac.

It was popular during the 17th century to bind books with human & animal skin, but has been found as early as 13th century on a French Bible.

It’s referred to as Anthropodermic bibliopegy and when it came to anatomical textbooks it proved common to use skin. Even medical  professionals would often use the flesh of a corpse they’d dissected during their research.

If you visit the library you can actually see the human flesh book … Apparently quite a few library’s have flesh covered books … 

‘Coming to a library near you!’

Yikes It’s enough to make your flesh crawl! 

Live life …

I have had some time to really figure out some stuff about myself. I think because of my new life journey, leaving religion, finding me, I’ve been looking for validation from others. Now I know that this is natural in us all but I think it may have become unhealthy for me. You see I have a slight addictive nature, one that can become easy addictive to things. I try hard not to get into routines as I know over time I will get use to these it will mess with my head. Years ago I suffered with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which I managed with professional help to break away from. However I am acutely aware that at any times of anxiety periods this may take root. I am finding that though religion caused many issues for me, I also have some issues resurfacing from when I was younger. 

Religion suppressed any of these now I’m finding I have to face them head on. I find it’s a battle that makes me weak at times. I also find that I may seem so freaky to others but never the less it is something that I have to face and work through. 

I live quite a lonely life when I say that I am not looking for sympathy it is a fact. I can become emotional about this at times because there are times when I just need someone to hold me, someone to just say I care, I love you but this rarely happens. 

Today is a day where I don’t want to reflect. I am fed up of going through an emotional roller coaster …

I want to start living my life instead of just existing!

Free ebooks anyone? …

For all you Bookworms out there that use technology to read the written word, pop along to the website called ‘BookBub’.

It is free to join and you get daily emails with the latest freebies. 

So what are you waiting for get yourself signed up for Free ebooks on kindle, nook, iPad & android. 

Ps … pass it on to other bookworms!!! 🙂

Pps … yes I prefer paperbacks to sniff & feel too but it’s handy to have a book or two on my mobile for times of emergency!!!