No title …

It’s been a while since I posted as I’ve been suffering with real bad health. Just before this I had entered into my first serious relationship after 14 years of being alone. There are times when relationships are good & there are times when they are not so good. I’ve just discovered today that my partner feels it’s not so good. So we had the talk of where it all goes now. He decided that time out is a good thing so he has gone off to his folks then to a football match. So here I am numb, thinking of what I could do to fill these hours. Now that’s where my illness doesn’t help you see I suffer with chronic fatigue don’t know how or why it started but got diagnosed last year. This hasn’t exactly helped in the relationship and this is actually stopping me from getting in my car to take myself off somewhere. I’m recovering from a flare up where I’ve been trapped in my own body & mind. It has stopped me from doing what I really enjoy & makes me make choices about my life using a ridged balance method. 
I have found that it affects my work & people around me. You see I look fine, you can’t see when I’m struggling & people just think it’s over tiredness but it’s more than that, every fibre in my body hurts then shuts down. My mind races or becomes a complete foggy mess. It affects me mentally & physically, it affects me as a whole person. Even now I can’t explain how it truly feels as it feels as though it might tangle my mind & body to such a extent I might just slide out of consciousness at anytime. I have read so much research with so little advice because it’s so unknown. I am discovering new ways of handling it, but I’m still in hope that one day it will go just as it just came on with no reason. As for my relationship maybe that will just end up the same it came & now it’s gone. 

Burning question! …

The world is full of unanswered questions!  

Right now I have a burning question I can’t seem to find an answer for …

Why do big toes have hairs?

Now I haven’t done a massive survey on this and collected loads of data, but I have asked friends. Most women I know (which isn’t many) confess to having under five big toe hairs, 
I myself have three. Does that make me a freak! 

I am not sure how many men have as I’m thinking it may be slightly offensive & weird to ask straight out. I may set up a no shoe and sock policy in my house using hidden foot CCTV to be able to get some real statics collected. Just gotta get some men to enter through the threshold, need to think …

Also the quality of hair, mine are soft and fine but a woman friend said hers are thick which leads to other questions …

Are we born with it?

Wondering about texture, how extreme does it differ and why?

Do they go grey in old age? 

Can your big toe suddenly go bald? 

Anyhow I digress … Why do big toes have hair, it can’t be for protection because three hairs aren’t going to do anything to protect. In fact if my foot were covered in hair and a car rolled over it, I am 100% sure it would still hurt loads.

There are no openings so no need for protection there either. They aren’t long enough to style to funk up a pedicure or go to a big toe hair stylist.

Visualising new movie … Hair raising performance ‘The Three Hair Musketeers’ coming to a big toe near you!  

Why oh why are they there?

Other hair bits I can understand and can come up with sensible & novel answers, for example hair on fingers is to help when you use your hand to wipe your nose (if you haven’t got a tissue handy). It creates a anti slip surface for the mucous to be wiped away discreetly.

We know eyebrows are the umbrellas on our faces.

Leg & hair arm are thermostat control.

I shall stop there! 🙂

Would love to hear any pearls of wisdom you may be able to offer, I am certain there is an answer I just can’t see it …

Kiss me first …

Book review 

I read this book in one day purely because I didn’t want to put it down, it was a very enjoyable read that got my mind thinking.

The reason why this book was chosen was first the cover, it stood out from the other books then I flipped over to the blurb at the back it pulled me in straight away … 
‘On the internet, we can be anyone we choose. No one knows who we really are’.

The reviews seemed great too, it claimed it was short listed for the Guardian First Book Award.
We all use the internet and it rung so true that we never really know who people are. Our lives can be filled with people we have never even met or even if we do eventually meet they can be almost disappointing when compared to the digital version of themselves.
The start of the book was a little confusing but I see what the author did further on, it all smoothed out to a very good read. 
At times when I stopped for a cuppa break not only did it have me thinking about the plot, I also thought of characters I have met online and how they have managed to sow a fabric of lies, choosing whom they wish to be. But we all know in this day and age with so much social media about they are hopefully going to get caught out one day. 

I don’t really want to give you too much info about the book but it follows a young girl called Leila who gets sucks into a weird online group run by a self confessed guru of sorts. 
Leila has an online life and doesn’t venture out into the real world, this is where the abduction of her mind begins. She is a likeable character slightly obsessive but with a vulnerability that only the reader at first sees and almost feels. There are times when her emotions are dealt with almost clinically and you want to reach into the text pull her out and give her a hug but you know she would be as stiff as a board and she would wish to evaporate out of your arms.

Be prepared the book may entice you to think more about the people behind the screen you share your life with, are they really who they say they are?

… Who are you? 

Time a great healer? …


I’m going to be honest here as I feel I need to release, I hope you don’t mind…

I’ve had a pretty emotional last couple of weeks and to be trueful I’m finding it hard to motivate myself …

I’ve had to rehome my little lap dog due to having to have my other dog put to sleep for health reasons, my little lap dog would not cope without her because sadly I had to leave them on their own for hours whilst I went to work. The little dog has a lovely new home with dog play friend, lots of laps & human company. He is very happy. My home is quiet and I’m still grieving. I miss them especially my dog that was put to sleep she was the most beautiful dog, ever so faithful, full of love. It hurt to say goodbye. There are times when I forget they are gone, then it hits me hard.

I also had an ugly ending to a fake friendship that I considered real the other day, which still hasn’t settled within me. This was not the right time but then is there ever a right time for dealing with matters that affect the heart and mind? 

My braces cause my teeth to permanently ache, they give me a slight lisp and I’m craving for certain food but if I have I won’t manage to eat them. I can’t chew and am paranoid of keeping the braces clean. This I would normally cope with but it’s just not the right time to have added suffering.
I can’t seem to relax to read, watch a film, play my ukulele or anything that would normally bring me enjoyment.

I know of the sound advice I give to others and to myself but I can’t seem to apply it. 

I feel I have been zapped of my zeal for life.
I need to shed some tears but I have become numb with all the emotion that is whirling around my head & heart. They well up but they won’t tumble anymore. 

The words that I’m hanging onto is ‘Time is a great healer’.

Road rage … 


In my car I had to go down a street that is very narrow due to residential parking, at the ends of the long road cars queue up facing each other. 

The unwritten rule is to let a few go one end then a few go the other. Cars seemed to pile up in the middle so there was an halt to movement. Slowly but surely cars started to move again, then I ended up at the next small street which joins with a main road. It has room for a couple of cars to wait at the bottom so you politely wait at the top so you don’t block the road, which is what I did (waited politely that is) … But the car behind with the blacked out windows decided he did not want to wait. He overtook on two wheels with a screech and engine revs that were sooo loud it sounded like an aeroplane (slight exaggeration but called for to help you visualise). Only to be met with a land rover coming the other way, lucky no one got hurt. The land rover done a one finger wave to black out window car. When they managed to get past each other I was able to shift my car forward and ended up behind Mr black out window car. Then I found myself mouthing something like ‘silly man’ the true words have been omitted because they were xrated! 
The reason why I’m telling you this is because I was reading a psychology piece saying that you should sing a song of joy 😦 if someone cuts you up etc (cuts you up as in car not as in axe murder because if someone was doing that, I’m sure I would not be singing a song of joy). 

It stated to let the driver, drive on out of your life do not let it impact you negatively … 

Ok that’s a good point, but then it adds we are all fundamentally the same, though you may not be the aggressor, loose cannon driver, there are aspects of that person that are just like you. Then it lists things like …

They could have graduated from the same school!?

They could like the same books!? … 

Well that’s when I just burst out laughing! 

So the moral of this is when an idiot cuts you up and nearly causes a crash my dear little bookworm friends just wonder if they are reading the same book as you … :-/

Ukuele buddies …

  Hey … let me introduce you to my baby rubyred ukulele. 

I started playing (well attempting) a short while ago. I still get extremely sore fingers but have been told they will soon be like beef jerky :-/

I set a challenge to myself to learn to play, I have a flute that I  dabbled with quite some years back and after mastering ‘jingle bells’ I gave up. 

I am not musical in the slightest but have a yearning to play an instrument. The ukulele is very cute sounding and extremely good fun. 

I am learning the chords and trying to change them without too much looking. I can strum now, sometimes my peter pointer will catch on strings, sometimes I lose count but I am definitely improving. 

I do find it relaxes me and aids my mind when it goes haywire, which happens a lot.

I can’t wait till I can strum out some tunes and sing at the top of my voice, not sure my dogs will be looking forward to it quite as much but they can be backing singers!

So are there any other ukulele players on WordPress I would imagine if you like books, writing, poetry, photography there must be some who like to dabble too…